Peer Review 1

Your essay was great and had great connections. I liked how you connected social media and other applications such as the hospital. Your points on how language is our responsibility was also an interesting take that was a good add in. The most that I would change is cutting out repetition and combining paragraphs together for a better flow in your essay. I enjoyed how you explained the paintbrush is a pump in your essay. This helped explain the metaphor to even me who has read the article and helps the reader understand as well. I would change however the third paragraph a tad to better flow with the rest of your paper this would help the reader be better informed. You need a better thesis, or just better stated so that the reader know exactly what your talking about and will be able to understand your position better. This could be added into the first paragraph.