I love your use of the different modes, they showcase your words and express your points well and develop your essay. They help enhance your arguments and points that you have. I think that adding less might be more, it would help not lose focus from your words. Like the text to text in your introduction and the way your incorporated your mom into your essay and expressed how she overcame a personal struggle. You can improve this more by adding more elaboration and being a little more specific.Adding and making things more specific can enhance your view and will help overall in your essay. You also could fine tune and reread for any sentences that could be taken out to enhance your point there is some repetition and this can be cut down. Overall a good essay and a great use of the different modes we went over in class.